Face Licker: Redux

New York is a big city with lots and lotsa people inside of it. Due to, and maybe a little in spite of, the nature of this metropolitan beast, however, we find ourselves running into random acquaintances, friends, lovers, neighbors, former classmates, enemies, left and goddamn right. I've run into an old ex that I don't talk to not once but TWICE on the streets of the East Village. Just in the last couple of weeks I've bumped into an old high school chum in my neighborhood. Last weekend during a rare Williamsburg appearance, I ran into a couple of friends on their bikes as soon as I stepped out of the subway. This is the kind of thing that happens in New York. So I shouldn't be surprised when things like this happen.

However, last night, my shock needle went way into the red zone. This shock surpassed what I felt as I walked past my ex and his new girlfriend on a Sunday morning after partying all night, and pretending I didn't see him. It surpassed the shock I felt when a friend came on to me in a bathroom at a bar. Ok now that was shocking, but honestly, my shock last night was at the top of the list of intense shocks.

Perhaps you'll recall, a few months ago, my tale of the Face Licker. I refer you to a blog dated February, 20th, 2007, if you never read it or need a refresher or simply need a good, hearty laugh. Well, my shocking run in last night was with, that's right, the Face Licker. That fact in and of itself is not sooo shocking. I might have expected to see him here or there. In fact, not long after our saliva-ey encounter, I'd swear that he answered the phone when I called Halloween Adventure looking for an eye patch for Zohra, but who the hell knows.

But here's the shocking part. I went to go see my friend Mex play in her new band. I don't talk to Mex frequently, but last week we talked and she invited me to the show. I love little Mex, and the show was at the Delancey, so I said I would go. I should have known that the stars weren't in alignment when the door man refused to let me in because he didn't trust my Florida ID with my New York address. I begged, pleaded, whined, why won't you take it, what can I do??? You can call the cops, he told me. I was about to give up, not ready to put in a 911 call to have my ID verified, when a 5-0 pulled up right in front of the club. I ran over and tapped on the window. I explained in my most adorable/sexy fashion what had happened, told them I just really wanted to see my friend's band, and would they please tell the bouncer my ID was real? They both got out of the car to explain how legal and ok it was for me to have such a form of identification. Not with which to drive, mind you, but for purposes of IDENTIFICATION, for which I was using it. However, the door man still retained the right to refuse me entrance. As he examined my ID yet again, he asked me what party I was there for. "I'm here to see my friend's band Baby Teardrops" I said, again adorably. "Have a good time, baby", I barely heard him say as I was already slinking inside.

Baby Teardrops was juuust about to go on when I got downstairs. I went right up front. I saw Mex on stage with her fancy twisted hair. She used to always wear dresses when she played with The Rinse, but she was wearing jeans so I was slightly disappointed. Still loved her though. I scanned the stage to check out the rest of the band. There was an Asian girl up there, a slightly balding man on guitar, and the boy in the middle, well, he looked like he might be cute, he had some nice shaggy hair and a sweet tie. He and Mex were talking, he had his head down, but then he lifted it...and I ran. It was the Face Licker. On stage. With Mex. It was his band. She is in the Face Licker's band. And what's worse, and highly likely, is that she's dating the Face Licker. As I sat upstairs, wondering if I should stay or go, I thought back to the text she'd sent that afternoon as a reminder for the show. "Come see Megs play in Matthew's first show". Yes, that's his name, the Face Licker. Matthew. Matthew the Face Licker. Does he lick her face?? Does she like it? These are questions that require answering.

My Asian, who I called for advice, recommended that I go back down to make sure Mex saw that I'd made an appearance, then it would be ok for me to leave. So go back down I did. Front and center, though, I did not, could not bring myself to be. Second row. I tried to make eye contact with Mex while avoiding it with the F.L., but I'm not sure if I was successful on either count. I made it through a song and a half before I skedaddled on home. I wondered, during the songs I was there for, if he saw me and if I made him nervous. If he felt inadequate somehow. His songs that I'd listened to back in the day sounded pretty, his voice very sweet, but that night he sounded like any old jam band type singer. Oh Matthew. Why didst thou lick my face??