Two Reasons Why New York is Awesome

People in New York have some pretty crazy pets, don't you think? Just last night, as I was walking along 23rd St. after watching a comedy performance by the Raspberry Brothers a la MST3K/rifftrax over the Lost Boys, I saw someone "walking" their "snake". Let me explain the quotation marks. He was "walking" the "snake" in the sense that people carry those fake leashes that seem to have an invisible dog attached. That's what I thought of when I saw him. And it was a "snake", not in the sense of a pet snake, nor in the sense of his dick, which I could definitely imagine happening in New York, but in the sense of a two foot long fake snake sticking out of the crotch of his pants. This guy was walking along as if he was actually walking an actual animal. Fan-fucking-tastic.

This morning on my way to work I saw something a bit more ordinary, but nevertheless always brings a smile to my face. Those Asians are very talented at multi-tasking. They seem to be happy and able to do just about anything while smoking a cigarette, such as riding a bike, sweeping the sidewalk, or, like this morning, selling produce from outside the corner deli. The way the long ash hung menacingly on the end of the cigarette, threating to spill onto the "fresh" produce below just made it look that much more appetizing. Someone was making a purchase from this man as I walked by.