Fucking Jesus, and a banking douchebag

As I was waiting to cross Canal Street to go to the bank, an older fellow walked by in front of me and the few others who were also waiting to cross. He seemed calm enough, but as he passed in front of us he said quite clearly, "Fucking Jesus". He sort of stated it rather than exclaiming or groaning it. As if to remark on the act of fucking Jesus, not on the fact that referring to Jesus requires such a strongly negative expletive in front of it. The man beside me was obviously shocked, and I couldn't help but giggle like a little girl in church.

I stood, bored, in the bank line, waiting for one of the two tellers to free up so I could make the deposit and shuffle back to the office. In walked douchebag cell phone guy. He was talking loudly when he came in, and asked his partner in cell phone douchebaggery to speak to the bank manager about some deposit issue. As he spoke, he was motioning to a man in a suit standing behind one of the tellers. The man finally came over to a window near the douchebag, who immediately launched into a confusing and annoying tale of his inability to make a deposit. The man in the suit replied, "I'm in training." HA! HAHAHA!! Stupid douchebag man! That'll teach you to be a rude asshole. Was everyone around here raised in a barn??